Annnnnnd after spending the past week studying STDs in my "Infectious Diseases" class I now have a better understanding of why God commands monogamy.
Asides from the inability to pee for days yet still manufacturing urine (read "ow"), the development of fibrous growths all over your nether regions, sterility, and some very painful sores, there's also aneurysms, blindness, cardiovascular disease, links to Alzheimer's, and more.
Don't be stupid. God doesn't want his children playing in the street.
Monday, July 20, 2015
Saturday, July 11, 2015
Me Punch HARD!!!
That feeling you get after you've spent days collecting research for a paper on anthrax, and have finally come up with enough information for a well-rounded paper, only to find that your professor decided to get creative with the instructions and is making you compare and critique articles instead.
And as a result, most of your research was for nothing.
And as a result, most of your research was for nothing.
Wednesday, June 24, 2015
ZOMBIES!
What I imagine my new class "Prevention and Control of Infectious Disease" is going to be like.
Saturday, June 13, 2015
Time To Pick Up Something Heavy
First, the good news.
I passed my CSCS!
After 3 hours of staring at a computer screen, attempting to figure out how those three multiple choices even apply to the question that was asked, I managed to pass!
Sure, maybe I only passed by 5 questions, but it still counts! I'm now a Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist!
Now, the annoying news.
A few months ago, a buddy of mine informed me that the MPH program had an "exit exam". What did that mean? What did it cover? Why didn't they tell us about this sooner?
These were all some of the questions that instantly spewed out of my mouth.
Apparently, the exit exam is a gigantic essay exam covering everything that I've learned since my first biostatistics night class that if I fail, forces me to retake my entire 16 week practicum (essentially an internship for married people that are already in the workforce and are now forced to juggle multiple jobs. Thanks grad school.).
Oh joy.
Why my school's administration didn't tell anybody about this sooner, I have no idea. I was just officially told about it last month, and told that it was strongly suggested that I take the exam within the next two weeks.
Aside from two week's notice being a bit short for such an exam, especially when I had scheduled a beach vacation one of those weeks a year in advance and had just paid $500 to take my CSCS - which, if I failed, was around a $200 retake fee - I need to have all of my old textbooks to take the exit exam.
THE ONES I SOLD TWO YEARS AGO.
Did anybody ever tell me I should keep those textbooks, just in case I happen to have a gigantic comprehensive exam near graduation? Nope.
"So, what's the big deal? Just go to the library, man."
Yeah, I thought the same thing. Except the library recently decided that it's going to be closed all Saturdays this entire summer, and only be open for five hours on Sundays.
"Well, just go on a different day, man."
That'd be fine, but I've already gotten a phone call from my professor, and multiple emails complaining about how I said I was going to take the exit exam and that I didn't. Did I ever say any of that? Nope, but that doesn't matter, I'm now the lazy, apathetic Southerner in the eyes of my professor.
I passed my CSCS!
After 3 hours of staring at a computer screen, attempting to figure out how those three multiple choices even apply to the question that was asked, I managed to pass!
Sure, maybe I only passed by 5 questions, but it still counts! I'm now a Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist!
Now, the annoying news.
A few months ago, a buddy of mine informed me that the MPH program had an "exit exam". What did that mean? What did it cover? Why didn't they tell us about this sooner?
These were all some of the questions that instantly spewed out of my mouth.
Apparently, the exit exam is a gigantic essay exam covering everything that I've learned since my first biostatistics night class that if I fail, forces me to retake my entire 16 week practicum (essentially an internship for married people that are already in the workforce and are now forced to juggle multiple jobs. Thanks grad school.).
Oh joy.
Why my school's administration didn't tell anybody about this sooner, I have no idea. I was just officially told about it last month, and told that it was strongly suggested that I take the exam within the next two weeks.
Aside from two week's notice being a bit short for such an exam, especially when I had scheduled a beach vacation one of those weeks a year in advance and had just paid $500 to take my CSCS - which, if I failed, was around a $200 retake fee - I need to have all of my old textbooks to take the exit exam.
THE ONES I SOLD TWO YEARS AGO.
Did anybody ever tell me I should keep those textbooks, just in case I happen to have a gigantic comprehensive exam near graduation? Nope.
"So, what's the big deal? Just go to the library, man."
Yeah, I thought the same thing. Except the library recently decided that it's going to be closed all Saturdays this entire summer, and only be open for five hours on Sundays.
"Well, just go on a different day, man."
That'd be fine, but I've already gotten a phone call from my professor, and multiple emails complaining about how I said I was going to take the exit exam and that I didn't. Did I ever say any of that? Nope, but that doesn't matter, I'm now the lazy, apathetic Southerner in the eyes of my professor.
 |
| USE. BETTER. COMMUNICASHUUUUUUUN!!! |
Thursday, June 4, 2015
Here's To Tomorrow
After six months of saving money/studying, I finally decided to register for my Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist (CSCS) exam earlier last month. I'm scheduled to take it tomorrow.
I've been doing a good bit of freelance writing lately, and I wanted CSCS after my name to add a little more oomph to what it is I have to say. That, and if I ever want to teach classes at the university level someday, having the CSCS will help.
It's widely regarded as an extremely difficult test, while simultaneously being the gold-standard test to determine whether or not you know what you're talking about when it comes to training. That typically means you devote hours every evening attempting to absorb too much material.
310 questions in 4 hours.
Let's do this.
I've been doing a good bit of freelance writing lately, and I wanted CSCS after my name to add a little more oomph to what it is I have to say. That, and if I ever want to teach classes at the university level someday, having the CSCS will help.
It's widely regarded as an extremely difficult test, while simultaneously being the gold-standard test to determine whether or not you know what you're talking about when it comes to training. That typically means you devote hours every evening attempting to absorb too much material.
310 questions in 4 hours.
Let's do this.
Monday, May 18, 2015
Time to Invest in Some Purell
So, I just finished my food safety class. Yeah, I didn't really know what that meant either, but it turns out that it's a whole lot of microbiology, something that I've never been very good at but still find fascinating.
I most definitely learned more about norovirus and salmonella than I ever thought possible, but one of the most interesting facts to learn was in regards to E.coli, a bacteria that grows in your intestines, but that can kill you if it gets out into other parts of your body.
To be hospitalized for a case of E. coli has an average cost of $6,922.
Holy smokes.
To be hospitalized for a case of E. coli where the patient suffers from hemolytic uremic syndrome and dies, the average cost is $6,963,826.
That's quite a legacy to leave behind for your family.
Sooooo, the moral of the story?
Wash your hands before you eat, cook your food well (particularly beef), and make sure your water is clean. Your family will thank you.
I most definitely learned more about norovirus and salmonella than I ever thought possible, but one of the most interesting facts to learn was in regards to E.coli, a bacteria that grows in your intestines, but that can kill you if it gets out into other parts of your body.
To be hospitalized for a case of E. coli has an average cost of $6,922.
Holy smokes.
To be hospitalized for a case of E. coli where the patient suffers from hemolytic uremic syndrome and dies, the average cost is $6,963,826.
That's quite a legacy to leave behind for your family.
Sooooo, the moral of the story?
Wash your hands before you eat, cook your food well (particularly beef), and make sure your water is clean. Your family will thank you.
Tuesday, April 7, 2015
What Registering for Class in Grad School is Like
"Woohoo! Time to register for new classes!"
"That's odd. It's not letting me register online. Looks like another trip to the registrar."
*later at registrar*
Registrar: "Just fill out this paper, get your professor to sign this paper, bring it back, and you'll be set!"
*later at professor's office*
Professor: "That's the wrong paper. The correct one is online."
*later at home*
"Sweet. The paper is printed. I'll just fill this out real quick, annnnnnd....I need a preceptor to sign this form."
*later at preceptor's*
Preceptor: "It's signed! Here ya go!"
*later at grad school office*
"Here's my paperwork. Am I considered registered now?"
Office: "Nope. You didn't complete the online form. Thanks for the physical copy though."
*later at home*
"Great. I need a copy of the form I just turned in. Oh, and my preceptor's resume as well."
"I'll see if I can get that and then I'll be done."
Grad School: "Nope. You need to do a criminal history check to apply for that class. It's $40."
"That's odd. It's not letting me register online. Looks like another trip to the registrar."
*later at registrar*
Registrar: "Just fill out this paper, get your professor to sign this paper, bring it back, and you'll be set!"
*later at professor's office*
Professor: "That's the wrong paper. The correct one is online."
*later at home*
"Sweet. The paper is printed. I'll just fill this out real quick, annnnnnd....I need a preceptor to sign this form."
*later at preceptor's*
Preceptor: "It's signed! Here ya go!"
*later at grad school office*
"Here's my paperwork. Am I considered registered now?"
Office: "Nope. You didn't complete the online form. Thanks for the physical copy though."
*later at home*
"Great. I need a copy of the form I just turned in. Oh, and my preceptor's resume as well."
"I'll see if I can get that and then I'll be done."
Grad School: "Nope. You need to do a criminal history check to apply for that class. It's $40."
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