Why Forks Are Better Than Spoons

At the aforementioned camp, while eating in the cafeteria one day, I noticed that much of the food in there made me want to gag when eaten with a spoon. However, when I ate the same food with a fork, the same food somehow became edible, if not somewhat tasty. After sharing this discovery with the rest of the table, I was surprised to find that I was not alone. It turned out that nearly everyone at the table had come to the same realization in the past. After discussing with each other for a while about our finds, these are the reasons that we came to believe that forks are better than spoons.

1) Circles taste gross - wait a minute. How can a shape have a taste? Much less taste disgusting? I believe the answer to this question relies on the shape that a spoon causes your tongue to conform to. Depressing one's tongue down into a bowl shape is very similar as to when a doctor gags you with an overgrown popsicle stick while you're getting your tonsils examined.

2) People can't slurp a fork - for those of us who suffer from the pet peeve of loathing the noise of people eating, this is a Godsend. Even if one tried their very best, slurping of a fork is practically impossible.

3) Forks don't feel slimy - think about it. Spoons just kind of slide right of your tongue. That's gross.

4) Spoons get in the way of your tongue - typically, when food is eaten with a fork, the food is on both sides of the prongs (a pretty cool word by the way. Another reason that forks are better.). However, when one eats with a spoon you taste the cold, slimy metal part first, as you tilt your wrist upwards in order to dump the spoon's contents into the back of your mouth. This process alone is bad enough, but add to that the metallic nastiness, and it becomes virtually unbearable.

5) Imagine eating a forkful of corn. -Not bad, eh? Now imagine eating a spoonful of corn. I just shivered a little.

So as you can see, forks are much better than spoons in just about every way. From the sound they make, to the consistency, all the way to the taste, forks have proven themselves superb. Next time that you have a choice between a fork and a spoon, pick the fork. Your tongue will thank you later.