Sunday, January 3, 2016

How to Hit 180 BPM

*me, sound asleep with the house to myself as my wife is working 3rd shift. It's late at night.*

CLAP

Me - HUH?! Something must have fallen downstairs. Sounds like it was in the kitchen.

CLAP

Me - Nope. That's not a coincidence. That sounded like it was at the base of the stairs.

CLAP CLAP CLAP

Me - Holy smokes! IT'S COMING UP THE STAIRS!

CLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAP

Me - SOMEONE'S OUTSIDE MY DOOR!

*grab shotgun*

I HOPE YOU LIKE THE TASTE OF LEAD, SUCKERS!!!

CLAPCLAPCLAP BOOOOM

Me - Oh wait. Those are fireworks. It's New Year's Eve. That's right. Whew.

Some kid must have grabbed a Roman candle and gone running around the apartment complex.

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