More Proof That God is a Practical Joker

A friend of mine brought up the subject of God's humor the other day, and I couldn't help but think about this. I've had some more time to think about it now, and I think I've come up with even more definitive proof, some of which is based on personal experience (try to guess which), that God is a practical joker.

1. Your house doesn't make weird noises until you're home alone- and it's night, and there's a thunderstorm, and the power's out.

2. People that are terrified of flying end up in the plane that hits turbulence - and the people with weak stomachs end up sitting beside them.

3. It rains more on weekends than weekdays- you know that event you had planned? Forget about it.

4. God convicts you to help a little old lady move her firewood - and then He puts a spider the size of a pumpkin under the first log you grab.

5. People love to swim. - Sharks do too.  'nuff said.

6. Make plans - as the saying goes, if you want to make God laugh tell Him your plans. And then sit back and watch as He hopelessly destroys them. Kind of like when your brother kicks over the sand castle you just made.

7. Have you ever dropped your keys in the toilet? -Yeah, God did that.

8. Nightmares - considering nyctophobia (fear of the dark) is one of the most common and shared fears known to man, I consider this playing dirty. Apparently, it's just not enough to get you when you're awake. Everyone knows that the best practical jokes are played when the victim is completely unsuspecting. And when is one more unsuspecting than when they're asleep? Just when you think you're safe, BOOM, you're running down a hallway with the boogeyman chasing you. And your shoes are made of cinder blocks.

9. You're playing disc golf with your brother and he throws the frisbee right in the middle of a road construction crew - whom are all wearing orange jumpsuits and have a cop standing close to them. You can imagine the feeling a 16 year old guy and his little brother get as they watch their frisbee mysteriously drift away from the intended target and land in the middle of a bunch of convicts.

10. Your seat comes unbuckled at the top of the hill of a rollercoaster - and it's your first one. Luckily, God loves you enough to have your friend who is roughly the size of a small gorilla sitting next to you. That way he can hold you down as you fly through the air of your cart.

Once again, I say that the evidence still points to the fact that God is a practical joker. And the scary thing is that sooner or later, I'm going to have even more examples, and not from just thinking about it either. Nope, He's going to get me. And rest assured (or maybe not, considering #8), that when it happens, that He's gonna get me good.

An Update

So juvee has been awesome so far this year. We're growing closer with the guys, they're expressing a ton of interest in Christ, and the guys have all been really cool. I haven't been posting as often as I'd like though, so I just wanted to give a quick update about some of the major things that have happened so far.

• About two weeks ago, one of the inmates who had been in there since last spring, and probably the guy I was closest to in there, was moved 'upstate'. I'm not really sure about all of the ramifications as far as to what 'upstate' means, but from what I hear it's generally a rougher environment. He was excited about getting to go to court before he was moved up though, due to his getting to see his dad for the first time in about five years. Pray for his protection and that God will get a hold of his heart.
• Another inmate, who I haven't seen in a couple of weeks, told me he his court date was coming up soon, but that he was ok with it because he was truly grateful to have been there (in detention). When I asked why on earth he was happy to have spent time there, he answered that if it had not been for his being there he would have never come to know God. Pray that he continues to grow with Christ, and establishes a firm foundation.
•  One night, Brandon, a freshman from my hall and one of the nicest guys you'll ever meet, came with us. As we were playing basketball with the guys, one of the inmates and Brandon both went up for a rebound. However, Brandon came down while the inmate was going up. The next thing you know a loud snap echoed through the gym as the inmate fell to the ground holding his hand. He ended up breaking two of his metatarsals, and was in a cast for a while, but now he's getting back to being able to do things again. He's still got some pain going on when he flexes his wrist though, so if ya'll could pray for a full recovery I know he'd appreciate it. 

If ya'll could pray for these guys and what's going on in there, it'd be appreciated a ton. There's some real awesome things going on in there, and I'm really starting to see the importance of prayer for these guys, and the results that it has. I'll try to do a better job of keeping people updated in the future, but be assured, God is at work in there, and He's doing some awesome things!

P.S. - Brandon was ok. He felt really bad though, and is now the source of an infinite number of prison jokes.

To Nate

I've never met you Nate, and probably never will. Nevertheless, you've had more of an impact than you would probably ever imagine. I was talking with Bean tonight, and we somehow got to talking about his old neighborhood. He lived in the area, and he talked about how every Saturday when he was a little kid, local college students participating in something called Campus Serve would visit his neighborhood.(Campus Serve is a form of ministry where college students go out into nearby neighborhoods and hang out with the local neighborhood kids, build relationships with them, and talk with them about Christ. In a way, it's kind of like Big Brothers Big Sisters in that the students set a pretty good role model for the kids.)

 Anyway, you used to help with Campus Serve. Bean talked about how every Saturday you used to come to his neighborhood and hang out with him. You'd do anything for Bean. You both hung out all the time. You took him on a trip with your college to DC, and would take him to the school cafeteria to eat sometimes too. Bean mentioned how much you meant to him, even going so far as to say that he loved ya (not in a weird way, of course), and wishes that you both were still in contact with each other.

It was awesome to see the impact that you were able to have on another person's life, simply because you were willing to spend time with him. You showed Bean Christ's love, and very possibly were the best role model that Bean's ever had. Thanks Nate. I'm watching as the Holy Spirit sweeps through that place, and He's watering some of the seeds that you planted.

Teacher Judo!

For those who intend to stay in school any period of time it is helpful to know a few little tips in order to survive. Learning how to sleep while sitting up, how to conceal a text, and how to suck up to a teacher are all very important concepts that just about every high schooler already knows, but only a select few have mastered the finer arts of school survival. Foremost among these skills is teacher judo. What is teacher judo you might ask? It does not involve throwing screaming "Hiya!" at the top of one's lungs while throwing one's teacher onto a desk as might be suspected, but instead is a highly effective means of avoiding rebuke and shifting the teacher's attention onto another student at the same time, avoiding the 'hot seat', so to speak. Here is how it is done:

1. The teacher asks you to answer a question that you have absolutely no idea how to answer
2. You say something that sounds really smart and that pertains to the subject at hand, though it does not answer the question at all, and discreetly direct the teacher's attention to a fellow classmate (this can be through mentioning their name, pretending that you are partners, or a not-so-discreet glance)
3. The teacher thinks that you have done your part, and now is focused on the unsuspecting victim

Here is an example:
Teacher: Bill, could you tell me what you and your partner thought about the discussion board?
(Bill had no partner during the dialogue, was half asleep, and didn't even realize that the class had done anything)

Bill: Yeah, we talked about how it seemed like a very difficult subject filled with complexities, didn't we Bryce?
(Bryce is unwilling to make you seem like a liar in front of the entire class so he goes with the flow. The teacher is now staring at him intently, waiting for him to expand upon the subject)

Bryce: Uh, yeah. (glances at Bill) It was definitely a loaded topic. There are certainly a lot of different views one could take on the subject, and it's really hard to see things in black and white here...

Teacher: Yes, but Bryce could you be more specific?

Bryce: Uh, no ma'am. I didn't read the chapter.
(condescending glance from the teacher)

TEACHER JUDO!

The Crucifixion According to Bean

As I get geared back up for juvee this year I'm reminded of one conversation in particular from last year . One night one of the guys asked what Jesus' crucifixion was. Bean, another inmate, took it from there.

"You don't know what Jesus' crucifixion is? I know, I know! They brought Jesus in, and He didn't do no bad stuff. I mean, He's Jesus. He's good, He can't sin. So they bring Jesus in and are blaming Him for all these things, and Jesus is just standing there, and He's like (tilts chin up defiantly) 'Yeah, so what?'. And Jesus didn't do any of this stuff, but the people keep blaming Him, and then they nailed Him to the cross man. And He was up there for a while, and then He died and spent three days in the grave, and then came back to life, and went to Heaven. And that's what happened."

Well done, Bean. I couldn't of said it better myself.

Sacrifice

I'm excited for my church. I feel the excitement level and love for God rising, I see people constantly stepping out of their comfort zones to help others, and have watched as people have let God radically change their lives. But the thing that has struck me most lately is a feeling of awe towards the level of sacrifice I've seen.

Three instances in particular come to mind when I think about this. I've seen a man and his wife downsize their business, in part because they desired to be able to spend more time helping out with both the youth group and the children's ministry even more than they already do. I've seen a member of the youth group who was 4th in the world in a video game sell his handmade computer and games because he felt that they had become his idol. I've seen two fellow college students spend their precious summer time volunteering to help out throughout the week with the youth group. And when I see these things I'm filled with joy and respect towards the people that are willing to make such a sacrifice.

These people truly understand what we as Christians are to do. Where they see a need, they fill it. When they realize that priorities need to be shifted, they make painful decisions. All while chasing after God and striving to put Him first. I'm proud of you guys, and I intend to brag about you even more in the future. Don't disappoint.

But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ.                                                                                                                              Philippians 3:7-8

Those Hands

I can't seem to get the picture of those hands out of my head. They weren't just any hands. They were dirty, stained, and roughened by a hard life spent begging and sleeping on a sidewalk somewhere. They were cupped together, a very humbling position, trembling with nervous excitement as they felt the weight of over a pound of food, a feeling which had been forgotten long ago. They were filled, and as they were he just sat there staring at them not knowing what to say, wondering if this was too good to be true. And yet it wasn't, and he did find the words that he wished to express. A shaky 'thank you' was uttered from his lips, and then another, and another.

Joy filled that heart. And just as when a cup has too much water poured into it, and the water flows over the brim, so the heart does with joy. Those hands were filled with food, till they were overflowing. And what was the first thing that they did? They got up, took a firm but gentle grip of what had been placed within them, and gave some of their contents to the other pair of outstretched hands not far off.

Those hands were held in a way that did not expect anything, in the humblest of fashions, in a way that a man that has been humbled by circumstances holds them. And when they received, they shook with the utmost of thanks. And when they were filled, they shared their precious contents with the utmost of care. And I cannot forget, and will always have imprinted in my mind and heart, a picture of those hands. If only our entire lives echoed what they did.