Pretty Much Every Chem Study Session

Favorite Textbook Quotes 2

In just three days, I finish with probably one of the toughest/class intensive semesters of my life. Things have been crazy lately, and the amount of reading that I had to do just to stay at remotely the same pace as the rest of the class was partly the reason. Anyways, like last semester, I've been paying a lot better attention to the things that I've been reading lately, and as a result, a lot of times I find quotes that tend to make me laugh/smirkbutsaythatIlaughed. Here are a few of my favorite from this past fall.

1. "Just arriving a foreign country, you will always make a fool of youslef." - Thank you Chinese book. And no, that wasn't a spelling mistake.

2.  "The more heat an object gains, the hotter it gets." - How the heck am I failing chemistry? My dad would kill me if he read this, and then saw my grades!

3. "10-80% of female athletes have mild iron deficiency." - Thanks for narrowing that down.

4. While not technically a quote, I found this picture in my physics book.

This pretty much sums up my childhood relationship with my little brother.

 5. "Active people tend to be less obese."- Huh. Who knew?

6. "Cardiac rehabilitation programs are safe....over 80% of patients who have been reported to suffer a cardiac arrest have been successfully resuscitated with prompt defibrillation." - "Well, gosh. With odds like that sign me up for the program, doc!"

7. "Hand grip strength tends to be higher in taller and heavier people." - You mean bigger people are stronger!?

8. "Pregnant women should avoid performing the Valsalva maneuver during exercise." - "The Valsalva maneuver is when you hold your breath and push. So unless you don't want your baby to shoot across the room and hit somebody in the head, I would recommend you breath while you're doing that exercise ma'am." This just brings to mind one question: how do pregnant women poop then?

9. "Stretching exercises are effective in increasing flexibility."- Millions of gymnasts across the world just exhaled after realizing that all that stretching wasn't for naught.

10. "The antipsychotic action of lithium ions was discovered by accident in the 1940s by Australian psychiatrist John Cade as he was researching the use of uric acid, a component of urine, to treat manic depressive illness." - "Hey, maybe if they drink their pee, they'll feel better!" Once again, more proof that God is a practical joker.

That's all I've got for the moment. Luckily, I've still got another whole semester in front of me, where I can discover more quotes like these. And with grad school staring me in the face, there should be many more posts like these in the future!

Things Learned at a Nursing Home

After about two years of off-and-on searching for a way/training in order to get my foot into the door of healthcare, I was finally able to get my certification as a nurse's assistant this past summer. It took a little while to find a job afterwards, but this past July I was actually able to land a job at an assisted living home downtown (yes, I know. That's different than a nursing home. But nobody knows what assisted living is, and for the sake of sparing myself from having to describe it for the 1,563th time I just say I work at a nursing home.). I've been there about 4 months though, which is certainly not very long, but it has been long enough to teach me some very important nursing home (ahem, assisted living residence) lessons. Here are but a few of the lessons that I've learned so far:

1. I used to think farts were funny - now they just scare me.

2. How to deal with non-compliant residents - where I work, many have short term memory loss. When this happens, change the subject, wait three minutes, and ask again.

3. Babies - these are the key to making friends here fast. Walking through a nursing home with a baby is like running through a dog show slathered in bacon grease.

4. How to call 911 - if your resident is unresponsive, he's not sleeping. Call 911.

5. How to say no - like when an old lady tries to kiss your lips.

6. Use your nose - if the first thing you smell when you walk into work is raw sewage, it's not going to be a good day.

7. If you see something brown on the floor, don't pick it up to see what it is - you would think this would be a no-brainer, but no, this actually happened. It went like this:
Me: "What's that brown stuff in Mr. Dude's chair?"
Ms. Ungloved: "I don't know. Let's see."
[she picks it up, as I suffer a mild heart attack]
Ms. Ungloved: "*sniff sniff* Looks like some type of old meat."

8. Old women have no filter - I'm not even going to explain this one. If you've been around them, you know what I mean.

9. DO NOT give ice cream to a lactose intolerant person - especially when they wear diapers. And when your job is to change those diapers.

10. NEVER put your face at butt level - this ties in closely with #9.

 I'm sure there will be many more lessons in the very near future, but to be honest, I don't know whether that should excite or scare me. It will probably be a mixture of things, which I'm ok with. Just as long as most of the things I'll learn in the future aren't like #10. (I still have nightmares about that.)

To a Friend

The sins of some men are obvious, reaching the place of judgment ahead of them; the sins of others trail behind them. In the same way, good deeds are obvious, and even those that are not cannot be hidden.     -1 Timothy 5:24-25

I love this verse (that may sound somewhat prideful in a minute). Just like you can't keep even your secret sins hidden, neither can you keep the secret the good things that you do either. No, I don't love this verse because it means that I'm going to be recognized for the good things I do (see? that's the part where you could have read into things), I love it because many times, we get the opportunity to see this verse in action in other peoples' lives all around us, giving us a better understanding of who that person really is, where there heart is, and causing us to thoroughly enjoy being with them the next time we see them because we feel like we've gotten away with knowing something about them that they really wish no one did (don't lie. You like that feeling too.)

I saw a perfect example of this just within this past week here at college, and as soon as I did, this verse immediately came to mind, and because of seeing it, I had to tell people just what this person did, and how grateful I am for them. My brother just started his freshman year here at the same school as me. Like just about every other college student on the planet, he doesn't have a lot of money. He and a couple of friends were hungry late one night, and decided to hit up a local fast food joint real quick for some cheap food. As he took his place in line, he stared at the menu and asked himself aloud, "Hmm, what can I get for $4?". Apparently, the guy standing right behind him heard what he said, introduced himself, and offered to pay for his meal. The guy didn't know anything about my brother, he just arrived, yet he was willing to pay for his food. What surprised me was when my brother told me the name of the guy: a friend of mine, and fellow student here at school, who likewise, probably doesn't have a ton of money hanging around just so he can pay for strangers' meals. (Does Jesus' reference to the poor widow giving to the temple come to mind?)

And so because of this, I thought this guy deserved a little recognition. This certainly isn't the first time I've seen him do something like this either, he's truly got a heart of gold. And so I say thank you Sean. You're an awesome guy, I'm praying for you, and I'm expecting you to do awesome things for God with your life. You're already doing some already.

Humor in the Bible: Joseph

I've been reading about the story of Joseph lately (in part due to the last post), and it's really filled me with awe. It's a beautiful story, and I've learned some things from reading it this time around, such as how long Joseph's storms lasted (23 years), and how God used those storms that Joseph was facing for good, but I've also been surprised at the humor withing the story, or at least what I imagine to be funny while reading the story. So I hope you have your Bible close by, or at least Biblegateway open, or something like that, and we'll take a look at the humor in the book of Joseph.

The first thing I noticed regards one of Joseph's brothers, Simeon. Joseph's family is starving and Jacob sends his sons to Egypt to buy some of the food that the Egyptians have stored. Now I imagine that this wasn't just some simple trip to the grocery store. The Bible even refers to it as a 'journey' (45:23). It had to have taken a good while to get from the house of Jacob to Egypt. When the brothers arrive in Egypt, Joseph plays a little trick on his brothers, and orders Simeon put into jail until the other brothers bring Benjamin back with them. The rest of the brothers agree, and make the long journey home. Now you would think that if you're brother was in prison, and wouldn't be freed until you returned, you would try to get back as quickly as possible. But is that what Joseph's brothers did? Nope. They waited until they'd eaten all the food they'd bought before they even thought about going back (43:2). Once again this wasn't a simple trip to the grocery store. They had to have bought at least a couple weeks of food. This leaves Simeon sitting in a cell for weeks  wondering what on earth happened to his brothers. This could possibly be explained by 49:5-7, when all the rest (for the most part) of Joseph's brothers are being blessed as Jacob dies, Simeon is cursed. Maybe no on e liked him.

The next thing that stuck out to me was 45:24. Joseph's brothers are going back home once again to tell Jacob how Joseph is still alive and all of the wonderful things that have happened to him. As the brothers are leaving, Joseph shouts out, "Don't quarrel on the way!". Was this a sarcastic referral to the end result of them quarreling before? "Hey guys! Remember that last time you all were really angry, and that stupid thing you did? You sold me into slavery! And now I'm second in command of Egypt! See ya, shepherds!"

The third thing that I found funny is probably due to my overactive imagination. What if Joseph had been doing laundry the day that Potiphar's wife grabbed his cloak as he ran off without it? We just might have the very first documented case of public streaking. I also thought it'd been funny if the sleeves were really tight, and he was able to get everything out but his hands as he's trying to run away while she's hanging on.

Lastly, and probably the most obvious source of humor in the book of Joseph, involves the baker. Joseph's just finished telling the cupbearer how awesome his life is about to get. The baker comes up to Joseph with this stupid grin on his face and all giddy as he tells his dream next, and eagerly awaits what Joseph has to say is going to happen to him. He's going to be hanged. Or as some translations put it, be impaled on a pole. Have you ever seen the face of someone who's bubble was not only just popped, but obliterated? It looks kinda like this:

Even a Murder

Something in the news caught my attention today. It was a story about a murder, and being that it was a story about a murder in China, I was instantly hooked. Upon finishing the story I was shocked. Basically, the story goes as follows: A Chinese woman by the name of Gu Kailai is being tried for the murder of Neil Heywood, a British businessman due to her belief that he had threatened her son "due to a conflict of economic interests" (read "money"). This particular story might not have attracted much attention had it not been for Gu Kailai being married to a high ranking Communist party member, Bo Xilaj, who was about to run for office for an even higher position with more power and responsibility. Unfortunately for Bo, his wife's involvement with the murder has slandered his name, and made his chances of winning office extremely minute. If you ask me, this is where the story gets interesting. Bo was an avid socialist, who believed that China was straying from its original socialist roots towards capitalism. If you take a look at China today, or at the history of socialism/communism in general, you can see that it hasn't exactly been the kindest ideological movements regarding Christianity.

It makes me wonder whether this is God protecting His people who are in China right now. Who knows what would have happened had socialist principles been further instilled and enacted upon the Chinese people? Would we have ended up with even more widespread, and more severe punishment of our brothers and sisters in China? I'm not sure, but the story of Joseph does seem to parallel this story. And though I do realize that I am certainly no expert on this particular piece of news, and probably never will be, and I also realize the danger of applying things from the Bible out of context and to where they don't belong, I think that this actually fits. Joseph's brothers took him and sold him into slavery in Egypt, meaning to be rid of him forever. It turns out that Joseph became the second in command of Egypt, eventually saving the lives of thousands. God had used this evil that man had devised, for good. He used this act of evil to save the lives of thousands. I wonder if this is the same. Maybe God can use even a murder.

You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.  -Genesis 50:20

Here's the link to one of the articles.

Guys Tired of Sandcastles

I haven't posted about it in a while, but we've still been going to hang out with the guys at juvee every Wednesday. Fear can keep you from doing a lot of things, and I think it comes in different guises as well. I was afraid that if I posted about juvee, people would think I was bragging and view it as prideful. This fear kept me from doing something that I love (getting to share the guys stories), and ultimately, I think it kept the guys from receiving a lot of prayer that they both need and deserve. I talked with a friend about this a while back (thanks Austin), and it kind of made me realize how silly I'd been, and the past few weeks have been so good, that I couldn't not share it with people.

We've got a really solid group of guys in there at the moment, both in numbers and in character. The guys look forward to us coming every week, ask about us when we're gone, and have a sincere curiosity about the things of the Bible, last night being further proof of that. Getting to play basketball with the guys last night was awesome. I always feel that the guys are a lot more open with you, we connect better, and that they listen better, when you get to play with or against them (if I would stinkin' hurry up, and learn how to dunk already maybe they'd listen even more!). This seems to make sense, as it's been said that sports, music, and food are the three things that bring people together (I would add complaining to the list, but we'll stick with positive things). We had an awesome time getting to play together. There was about 14 guys, and 10 or so were new, so it was great to start off on such a good foot. The guys all got along during the game (there's been problems before, but hey, it's juvee. What do you expect?), everyone was laughing together, and the games were competitive.

After the game, we all sat down to talk about the Bible, focusing on the story of Noah. The guys had tons of questions about everything. Dinosaurs, the age of accountability, Jesus' death, Revelations, and even mermaids were discussed (one guy  believed they were real). There was really good discussion, and I got to know a few of the new guys really well during that time.

A lot of these guys are really, really close to Christ, they just need a little more guidance to understand some things, and they need people to love them, and role model Him for them. Unfortunately, they need this more outside of juvee than they do inside. What we can do is limited. It's going to be the others outside that truly impact these guys lives. These guys need our prayer. If ya'll could pray for these few things for the guys, the impact might be larger than you think:

1. That the guys will continue to have a curiosity for the things of God, and that they may find The Answer while they're there.
2. For help with a lot of the pain that these guys are dealing with. Some of the stories they tell are unreal.
3. That once these guys get out, that they'll stay out, and that men and women of God around them will see them, reach out, and be an influence, mentor, and friend. 
4. And finally, that people will remember to pray for these guys (and hey, if you wanna pray to keep us guys healthy so we can play together, we're ok with that too).

Thanks for all of your prayers, and keep this guys in mind!