Favorite Textbook Quotes 2

In just three days, I finish with probably one of the toughest/class intensive semesters of my life. Things have been crazy lately, and the amount of reading that I had to do just to stay at remotely the same pace as the rest of the class was partly the reason. Anyways, like last semester, I've been paying a lot better attention to the things that I've been reading lately, and as a result, a lot of times I find quotes that tend to make me laugh/smirkbutsaythatIlaughed. Here are a few of my favorite from this past fall.

1. "Just arriving a foreign country, you will always make a fool of youslef." - Thank you Chinese book. And no, that wasn't a spelling mistake.

2.  "The more heat an object gains, the hotter it gets." - How the heck am I failing chemistry? My dad would kill me if he read this, and then saw my grades!

3. "10-80% of female athletes have mild iron deficiency." - Thanks for narrowing that down.

4. While not technically a quote, I found this picture in my physics book.

This pretty much sums up my childhood relationship with my little brother.

 5. "Active people tend to be less obese."- Huh. Who knew?

6. "Cardiac rehabilitation programs are safe....over 80% of patients who have been reported to suffer a cardiac arrest have been successfully resuscitated with prompt defibrillation." - "Well, gosh. With odds like that sign me up for the program, doc!"

7. "Hand grip strength tends to be higher in taller and heavier people." - You mean bigger people are stronger!?

8. "Pregnant women should avoid performing the Valsalva maneuver during exercise." - "The Valsalva maneuver is when you hold your breath and push. So unless you don't want your baby to shoot across the room and hit somebody in the head, I would recommend you breath while you're doing that exercise ma'am." This just brings to mind one question: how do pregnant women poop then?

9. "Stretching exercises are effective in increasing flexibility."- Millions of gymnasts across the world just exhaled after realizing that all that stretching wasn't for naught.

10. "The antipsychotic action of lithium ions was discovered by accident in the 1940s by Australian psychiatrist John Cade as he was researching the use of uric acid, a component of urine, to treat manic depressive illness." - "Hey, maybe if they drink their pee, they'll feel better!" Once again, more proof that God is a practical joker.

That's all I've got for the moment. Luckily, I've still got another whole semester in front of me, where I can discover more quotes like these. And with grad school staring me in the face, there should be many more posts like these in the future!

Favorite Textbook Quotes

College is 90% reading. That's one of the things that I probably should have realized about high school too, but unfortunately, reading the textbooks didn't become much of a priority until I got to college. Don't get me wrong, I read my books in high school too (actually "skimmed" is a better word), but after the first batch of tests my freshman year I realized that I'd have to actually comprehend what I read if I ever hoped to graduate with a GPA above a 1.4. It took a little while, but I think that I've gotten the hang of things now. However, as I paid better attention, I began to notice that some of the things that I'd read could come across as kind of funny when you thought about it, or had a major duh factor (sheesh, did they think I was a kinesiology major?). So, I began to make a list. Here are my favorite textbook quotes from this past semester.

1. "A second or third degree heart block in a client is a reason to discontinue exercise." - I would say it's a good one too.

2. "Exercise occurs when the person turns and moves in bed without help." - I didn't realize how healthy I must be! I exercise every morning!

3. "Pregnant women should avoid contact sports." - Football comes to mind.

4. "Peripheral Vascular Disease 4-Point Pain Scale" 
       "#3. Intense pain from which the patient's attention cannot be diverted except by catastrophic events such as a fire or explosion"
  -"Well doctor, my leg was hurting, but thanks to that earthquake now I feel fine!"

5. "Wet babies are extremely slippery."

6. "Patients with respiratory problems should discontinue exercise when they can no longer breathe." - Oh. Ok.

7. "BRP stands for bathroom privileges." - Not a right? I've been so ungrateful!

8. "Push the cuticles back with an orange stick." - And ONLY orange.

9. "Transmission of AIDS through saliva has never been reported. Therefore, it is safe to drink after AIDS patients." - Then I flipped to the next page. "Eventually, AIDS patients will develop open sores in their mouths."

10. "...a person may try to put slacks on over his or her head." - I'm not even sure what to do with this one.

11. "Signs and Symptoms of Illness in Babies"
               "#2. The baby looks sick."
                -Sounds reasonable to me.

12. "A person has electrical burns. The person is still in contact with the electrical source. What should you do?"
       "D. Cover the person with moist towels."
-Ok, so technically that one was on a test I took, but it actually made me laugh in the middle of class, so I thought it was worth sharing.

That's all I've got for the moment. Sadly, I didn't make this discovery until this past January (sigh). Oh well. Hopefully, this coming school year will give me plenty of other examples and there will be another post like this in the near future!