Tuesday, November 1, 2011

More Proof That God is a Practical Joker

A friend of mine brought up the subject of God's humor the other day, and I couldn't help but think about this. I've had some more time to think about it now, and I think I've come up with even more definitive proof, some of which is based on personal experience (try to guess which), that God is a practical joker.

1. Your house doesn't make weird noises until you're home alone- and it's night, and there's a thunderstorm, and the power's out.

2. People that are terrified of flying end up in the plane that hits turbulence - and the people with weak stomachs end up sitting beside them.

3. It rains more on weekends than weekdays- you know that event you had planned? Forget about it.

4. God convicts you to help a little old lady move her firewood - and then He puts a spider the size of a pumpkin under the first log you grab.

5. People love to swim. - Sharks do too.  'nuff said.

6. Make plans - as the saying goes, if you want to make God laugh tell Him your plans. And then sit back and watch as He hopelessly destroys them. Kind of like when your brother kicks over the sand castle you just made.

7. Have you ever dropped your keys in the toilet? -Yeah, God did that.

8. Nightmares - considering nyctophobia (fear of the dark) is one of the most common and shared fears known to man, I consider this playing dirty. Apparently, it's just not enough to get you when you're awake. Everyone knows that the best practical jokes are played when the victim is completely unsuspecting. And when is one more unsuspecting than when they're asleep? Just when you think you're safe, BOOM, you're running down a hallway with the boogeyman chasing you. And your shoes are made of cinder blocks.

9. You're playing disc golf with your brother and he throws the frisbee right in the middle of a road construction crew - whom are all wearing orange jumpsuits and have a cop standing close to them. You can imagine the feeling a 16 year old guy and his little brother get as they watch their frisbee mysteriously drift away from the intended target and land in the middle of a bunch of convicts.

10. Your seat comes unbuckled at the top of the hill of a rollercoaster - and it's your first one. Luckily, God loves you enough to have your friend who is roughly the size of a small gorilla sitting next to you. That way he can hold you down as you fly through the air of your cart.

Once again, I say that the evidence still points to the fact that God is a practical joker. And the scary thing is that sooner or later, I'm going to have even more examples, and not from just thinking about it either. Nope, He's going to get me. And rest assured (or maybe not, considering #8), that when it happens, that He's gonna get me good.