Me: The New Nursing Assistant!

Just thought I'd let ya'll know how my first day in lab as a nursing assistant went.

I was trying to brush her teeth.

Favorite Textbook Quotes

College is 90% reading. That's one of the things that I probably should have realized about high school too, but unfortunately, reading the textbooks didn't become much of a priority until I got to college. Don't get me wrong, I read my books in high school too (actually "skimmed" is a better word), but after the first batch of tests my freshman year I realized that I'd have to actually comprehend what I read if I ever hoped to graduate with a GPA above a 1.4. It took a little while, but I think that I've gotten the hang of things now. However, as I paid better attention, I began to notice that some of the things that I'd read could come across as kind of funny when you thought about it, or had a major duh factor (sheesh, did they think I was a kinesiology major?). So, I began to make a list. Here are my favorite textbook quotes from this past semester.

1. "A second or third degree heart block in a client is a reason to discontinue exercise." - I would say it's a good one too.

2. "Exercise occurs when the person turns and moves in bed without help." - I didn't realize how healthy I must be! I exercise every morning!

3. "Pregnant women should avoid contact sports." - Football comes to mind.

4. "Peripheral Vascular Disease 4-Point Pain Scale" 
       "#3. Intense pain from which the patient's attention cannot be diverted except by catastrophic events such as a fire or explosion"
  -"Well doctor, my leg was hurting, but thanks to that earthquake now I feel fine!"

5. "Wet babies are extremely slippery."

6. "Patients with respiratory problems should discontinue exercise when they can no longer breathe." - Oh. Ok.

7. "BRP stands for bathroom privileges." - Not a right? I've been so ungrateful!

8. "Push the cuticles back with an orange stick." - And ONLY orange.

9. "Transmission of AIDS through saliva has never been reported. Therefore, it is safe to drink after AIDS patients." - Then I flipped to the next page. "Eventually, AIDS patients will develop open sores in their mouths."

10. "...a person may try to put slacks on over his or her head." - I'm not even sure what to do with this one.

11. "Signs and Symptoms of Illness in Babies"
               "#2. The baby looks sick."
                -Sounds reasonable to me.

12. "A person has electrical burns. The person is still in contact with the electrical source. What should you do?"
       "D. Cover the person with moist towels."
-Ok, so technically that one was on a test I took, but it actually made me laugh in the middle of class, so I thought it was worth sharing.

That's all I've got for the moment. Sadly, I didn't make this discovery until this past January (sigh). Oh well. Hopefully, this coming school year will give me plenty of other examples and there will be another post like this in the near future!