For some reason, right before I fall asleep, ridiculous questions come into my head. Ones that are certainly insignificant on a cosmic scale, but nevertheless, are interesting to think about. Things such as whether or not the creator of the pogo stick originally intended it as a means of transportation, what's God's favorite food, or what was Jesus' blood type? (I actually got into a debate with a guy on my hall with this one. I claimed that He must have been type O because His blood is for all, while he held the position that it must be type AB because He accepts everybody.) One that's been going through my head recently is exactly what type of humor does God have? After thinking and observing some different aspects from my own life for a little while, I think that if anything, God is a practical joker. He must be. Here are some examples that I think help prove my point.
1. Drinking water makes hot peppers even hotter - this is a classic example. Just what you think will relieve you of the torment that is occurring inside your own mouth due to the foolish dare from a friend actually makes it ten times worse. I can picture God laughing as one's eyes begin to water and their face turns as red as the pepper they just ate.
2. Spiders have a tendency to build their webs right around face level - after all, arachnophobia is one of the top ten most common phobias. Of course they're going to build them at face level. You know how your friends all point and laugh as you're running around screaming hysterically? That's what I picture God doing every time this happens to me.
3. Guys get acne right around the same time that they have to begin shaving - have you ever shaved off a pimple?
4. Arguably one of the healthiest foods on the planet is a type of pond sludge - positively correlated with why it is so hard for people to lose weight. The nastier something tastes, the healthier it is.
5. Your stomach doesn't make funny noises until the room gets quiet - at which point you begin to pray that God will have mercy and just make it stop.
6. Birds don't have to poop until you're all dressed up and/or you're running late - I think that you'll agree with me on this one. Everyone has their own bird poop story, they just do their best to keep it under wraps. Just be thankful it was a little chickadee instead of a goose or something. I imagine it was even worse when pterodactyls roamed the sky, which makes me a little more sympathetic towards Adam and Eve. Speaking of which, I bet that the fruit that they ate that completely ruined their lives didn't even taste good. It was one of those "HA! Gotcha!" moments.
7.Circumcision - Why? I bet Abraham was asking the same question.
8. Rain and extremely powerful wind seem to be intertwined with one another - rendering umbrellas completely useless
9. Nothing wraps around your leg until the water gets murky - yeah, see that seaweed around your leg that caused you to scream like a little girl in front of all your friends? God put that there.
10. Babies are nocturnal - the complete opposite of the rest of the population.
11. You can't get God back - He knows everything. You know the feeling. That guy you know that gets you every time, while every plan of yours to get them back seems to fail miserably. It's the sign of a seasoned practical jokester, and further adds to the "Gotcha!" sensation.
As you can see, all of the evidence points to God being a practical joker. It just makes sense. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go. I've been sitting outside as I've been typing this and just now realized that I've been sitting in an ant nest the entire time. This is unfair.
12.) Jesus set the bar of asking God to bless the food before eating, knowing that in the future long-winded prayers would be offered whilst very hungry people sat with warm, delicious smelling food in front of them.
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