A College Dictionary

A new semester has begun, and I've already seen a ton of new people here on campus, many of whom are freshmen. One of the things that I remember having to deal with my freshman year was wading through the college campus "lingo". I wished that there was some type of dictionary that would help me understand what people were referring to, but there wasn't leaving the task of figuring out what different things meant completely up to me. So, new freshmen, I have taken it upon myself to make your lives a little easier this year by compiling a college dictionary for you. Here you go.

1. Professorship - a license to act as cooky, eccentric, or strange as one desires

2. Syllabus -what the professor will ask you to read when you ask a question

3. Pop quiz - a professor's attempt to destroy your GPA, morale, and dreams of a future all in one fell swoop

4. Final - a test that generally only encompasses material in the one book that you didn't read

5. Pencil - what you need for your final. Also the one thing that you forgot to bring.

6. Dirty look - what you will receive when you ask somebody for a pencil

7. Ramen - what you will be living off of the next four years. Variation doesn't help as much as you wish.

8. Alarm clock - that thing that buzzes on weekends, but for some reason not before the class you have a paper due in

9. Paper - typically a report the size of a small novel that a professor assigns you. Also, what you run out of while printing that small novel, typically on the last page, or when you're in a hurry.

10. All Nighter - 40% studying, 60% Facebook

11. Procrastination - the source for all nighters

12. Paycheck - what arrives the day after all your friends went out

13. Sleep - a precious gift from God

14. Parking enforcement - the modern day equivalent of the tax collectors of Jesus' time

15. Drumsets - a tool of Satan at 3 in the morning

16. Christmas break - 3-4 weeks of free labor for your parents

17. Freshman 15 - *see ramen


18. 7:40AM - when the most mentally intensive courses such as calculus, chemistry, or anatomy are held. Also allows most college students to see the sunrise for the first time in their lives.

So current freshmen, or even still confused sophomores, I hope that this helps, and have an awesome semester!